Jan 31/09

One of the magazines I suscribe to is a Canadian feminist magazine called Herizons. In the Winter 2009 issue that arrived this week there is a brilliant essay by Margaret Cho about sexual power. The essay really spoke to me and its meaning to me can be summed up in the last line which reads "I say yes to me." This line has been echoing through my head this week as I deal with the break up mentioned in the entry below. While the essay is about the reasons why she has or has not fully consented to sex, I think that the concluding line is important for everyone in all aspects of our lives. Too often we silence our wishes and desires because it is easier in the face of resistance or to keep the peace. We carry on harbouring resentment because we do not feel like we have been true to ourselves and therefore true to those around us. Last night as I was struggling with not contacting my now ex-boyfriend, I turned to my paper and pen journal to think things through. One of the things that I wrote goes as follows: I love him, but I love me more.